I was at the park the other day and while Mac was exploring, she fell a couple of times. No major spills, but enough to make the other moms gasp. They were amazed that she got up, brushed herself off, and continued on her way. She came to me a few times to show me she fell and ask for a kiss or a hug, but mostly she was fine. The other moms remarked out loud how resilient she was compared to other children. How did I get such a resilient child? Well, there are three things I do when my toddler falls down.

Look the Other Way

This seems super harsh, I get it. But a toddler will look to you for your reaction. If you freak out, so will they. If I can tell that Mac is alright, I instantly look the other way. I don’t ignore her, but I will casually look back towards her and say something like “Oops!”

Believe me, I have seen many parents who watch their kids take a simple stumble onto some soft grass and totally overreact. If you rush over and act like they just got hit by a truck, how do you think they are going to react? They will launch into hysterics, I almost guarantee.

Ask “Are You Okay?”

When Mac (or any of the toddlers at school) fall down, the first thing I ask is “Are you okay?” If they are a little older, they can answer honestly with a yes or by showing me an owie. If they are younger, you can inspect them and help them answer the question. It is important for children to distinguish if they are actually hurt and in need of medical help or just in slight, fleeting pain from the fall.

So if Mac falls down and there isn’t any sort of injury, I say “Are you okay? Yes, you are okay. You aren’t hurt.” I also show her that if her knee or head smarts because she did slightly bump it, she can pat it gently. Then the child feels like they are actually helping their owie.

(If you look at Mac’s forehead in the picture below this, you can kind of see the two bruises on her forehead. They are much more prominent in real life. And are from two totally different occasions. Sigh.)

Encourage Them to Try Again

Sometimes, a toddler falls down just walking, but a lot of the time they are trying to do something: ride a bike, climb the playground, step over something in their path. If they fall trying something, you should encourage them to try again.

Mac loves to climb, so when we go to the park I encourage her to do it there (and hopefully prevent some of the furniture climbing at home!) Sometimes, her attempts are not very successful. But I believe in getting back up on the horse and riding again, so I tell her to try again.

If I see her becoming frustrated, I ask her if she wants me to help. In this case, help doesn’t mean doing it for her. I show her where to put her feet and hands and encourage her to do it herself.

Is your child resilient when they fall down? How do you respond when they fall?