Any parent of a toddler is very familiar with tantrums. Toddlers will scream, throw themselves on the floor, and squeeze some tear out for the most irrational reasons. Believe it or not, there is a reason for this: a toddler’s sense of order is just coming into play. If you want to read more in-depth about the sense of order, read this post here.

But imagine if you were an explorer and you mapped out an area before you went to bed. When you wake up in the morning and look outside, everything is different. How confusing and frustrating it would be. That is what the world is like for toddlers. From the time a child is born, they map their world. My toys are in that basket, the couch is over there, the coffee table is there. If we rearrange or even move something small, we are messing up their world. We have offended their sense of order and they just want their world to stay the same.

Anecdotally, I can tell you I have seen numerous tantrums caused by a disruption to routine or physical space. Sadly, many parents seem clueless to the cause and just end up frustrated. Sometimes after a few days where a child has seemed “off” with their mood, we find out one of the parents is on a business trip and their morning routine has been totally different. No wonder they are having trouble! So what can we do? We can keep their map intact. There are two simple ways to do that: keep things tidy and stick to a routine.

Keep Things Tidy

A place for everything and everything in its place. This should be true for anything the toddler comes in contact with. Once you put something somewhere, your toddler will always want it there. In our toddler classroom, we use place mats so they can see where their silverware and glass go. We also have mats on the dish cart with outlines to show where to put dirty glasses, bowls, and plates.

Perfect World: Well, honestly a Montessori toddler room is a perfect world example. As I mentioned above, we have guides like place mats to help them see where things go. Everything has a place in the room and the places don’t change drastically.

Real World: There are a few ways to keep things tidy at home without going crazy. Have a toy rotation. Make a specific area for toys (I made my living room a Montessori area for Mac.) If a toy has small pieces, have a basket to keep the pieces together. When you change something, try to change it slowly over time.

Stick to a Routine

Try your hardest to stick to your routine. Even simple things like brushing their teeth before bed and putting their dishes in the dishwasher after eating will become ingrained in them. It only took a week for Mac to bus her own dishes. Now when she finishes a snack, she automatically grabs her plate and heads to the kitchen.

Perfect World: Every day would be exactly the same with carefully planned activities sprinkled throughout. Routines would be built into everything.

Real World: I always say that we have a schedule so that we can break it. Mac always takes a nap at 2 pm. But some times life gets in the way and she naps in the car or not at all. That’s okay because it is just one day. Usually we are breaking our schedule because of something fun or exciting, so Mac won’t be too put out by the intrusion to her schedule.

So tell me, how do you keep things tidy or stick to a routine? Does it help?