There is a lot of debate about whether babies and toddlers should have a schedule. Some think a strict toddler schedule with no wiggle room will help. Others think going with the flow is better because it gives the child what they need at any particular time. So what do I think? Well, I practice both of these: a schedule and no schedule. How in the world does that work? Let me give you the run-down.

I’ve talked before about a toddler’s sense of order and how you can help. One of the ways you can help is by keeping things the same, including a schedule. Doing things in the same order and at the same time each day help a toddler keep their world in order.

But what about when you have a birthday party or go on vacation? You can’t possibly follow the same exact toddler schedule without going crazy. No one wants to cut a party short for nap time or miss the fireworks because of bedtime. So what do you do?

That is where my general rule comes from:

We have a schedule so we can break it.

I feel like we have the best of both worlds when we do it this way. Every day, we follow the same schedule. Mac feels secure knowing exactly when she will eat, sleep, and play. And it makes life easy for us. I know I need to run errands with her in the morning so it doesn’t interfere with nap time.

But occasionally, we break our schedule. We don’t just willy-nilly throw the schedule out the window, but for family events, parties, or bigger outings we are willing to slide things around so we will have a fun, memorable day. It’s okay if Mac naps at a different time so she can watch a parade. It’s okay if bedtime is a little later because we are out for dinner to celebrate a birthday. It is okay because we all know that the next day we will be back to normal.

So how do you do it? Do you live by a schedule? Do you see where the day takes you? Or a mixture, like me?