I am a laid back mama. I have worked with kids for so long that not much phases me. I have dealt with the gamut of gross stuff and frustrating stuff so having my own child is no biggie. In fact, I tend to get along better with the second and third time moms I know vs. the first time moms like me. Maybe that is why I am so comfortable having a free range toddler.

Free range children became a popular idea in the last few years. My personal definition of a free range child is a child that is allowed to explore things on their own being given reasonable boundaries and expectations. I know a lot of people think of a free range child as one who is allowed to wander freely. They picture them doing whatever they want with no rules or punishment. This is a totally wrong assumption.

Raising a free range child means you know your child so well that you know what you can trust them with and what sorts of things they can handle. For example, maybe your free range toddler is ready to go down the slide with no help. Or maybe your 8-year-old can handle walking to school by themselves. On the other hand, maybe your 10-year-old is nowhere near being able to safely walk to the neighborhood park or maybe you can’t trust your 2-year-old to go down the steps safely. It is different for everyone.

Free Range Toddler

Free range toddlers was something I first experienced as an assistant in a Montessori toddler room. On nice autumn and spring days, we would go for a walk to the soccer field next to our school to have a picnic. It made me so happy to see the toddlers able to run without limits, exploring things as they went. Of course, there were some toddlers who couldn’t be trusted to stay within a reasonable distance or listen to us when we told them to come back. We had to set different expectations for each child.

Now, I am raising my own free range toddler. From an early age, I have given her freedom of movement. So when it comes to physical things, I know I can trust her abilities far more than I could trust other toddlers. At 14 months old, Mac could climb up the playground stairs and go down the slide, totally by herself. Of course for the first couple of times, I stood very close, ready to catch her should she happen to fall. But you know what? She didn’t fall. And I gradually moved further back.

Observe Your Child

The biggest way to have a free range toddler is to observe them. I know it is hard to sit and not interfere, but you’ll never know what your toddler is capable of if you are always jumping in to help. (Obviously if they are in imminent danger, you do need to jump in. I mean like about to fall in the pool or stick a fork in an electrical socket danger, not falling off of a low step danger.)

Too many times I see parents who do so much for their incredibly capable toddler. That is only setting you up to be your child’s personal slave. Toddlers are smarter than you think. I’ve had children at school who can dress themselves but the moment mom walks in the door, they flat-out refuse to put their shoes on by themselves. Why? Because they know mom will do it for them.

Let Them Fail and Fall

As I talked about before, you need to let your kids fail and, sometimes, fall. I’ve talked before about what to do when your toddler falls down. You need to let them fall so they learn their own abilities and how to persevere when they fall. Mac couldn’t have learned how to climb on things without falling down. She has fallen off of the couch, the coffee table and down a few stairs. She has always picked herself back up and tried again.

Toddlers need to work on their perseverance. It is an important life skill to keep going when the going gets tough. Adults need to be able to persevere when the big things fall apart. If a toddler can’t learn to try climbing the stairs again, how will they be able to pick themselves up after being laid off as an adult?

Revise Your Limits

Toddlers can be really annoying sometimes. A question I often ask myself when something is annoying me in the toddler room is this: “Is what they’re doing actually wrong or is it just annoying to me as an adult?” For example, blowing bubbles in their milk isn’t wrong, it is just annoying.

It is okay to look at rules or limits you have set and revise them. When Mac was younger, we made sure to pretty strict about not letting her climb on the stairs. But once she was capable of learning to go up and down them, we revised our limits. (You’ll also notice in most of the pictures in this post that Mac isn’t wearing shoes. That is a battle that I just don’t try to pick with her.)

Do you have a free range toddler? What do you do to keep them safe while allowing them freedom?