Feeding your toddler can be really frustrating. Despite the great start I gave Mac by doing baby led weaning, she is now the pickiest eater ever. Avocados were the first food she ate and were her hands down favorite for months and months. Now, I can’t even get her to try them. The other day, she wouldn’t even eat takeout pasta that Andrew brought home for a special meal. She took two, small bites and then pushed her plate away and said

“I like sauce”

which means applesauce. We tried harder to encourage her to eat this special meal, but each time she pushed the plate away and declared

“I like sauce”

until finally we just gave in. While we had the special treat meal, she had a peanut butter sandwich and applesauce. But we are willing to deal with that so that food doesn’t become a power struggle. It is so important that you do not make food a fight with your toddler. Read on and I’ll tell you our mealtime rule with Mac. (If you want some more tips on dinner as a family, check out my post on making dinnertime less stressful, even with kids.)

What Happens When You Make Food a Fight

There are exactly three things a toddler can actually control: eating, sleeping and toileting. Those are also the three things that an adult can’t make a child do. (Believe me, I wish I could get my toddler to sleep!) In general, if a toddler feels that they don’t have any control or any choices, they will try to control one of those three areas. Giving a toddler choices is tough, but so necessary. For more tips on that, read my ebook about how to give a toddler choices.

Pick Your Battles

One of my favorite pieces of advice for parents and actually for people in general, is to pick your battles. Only fight the ones worth fighting. Food is not one of them. Most healthy children will not starve themselves. If they are hungry, they will eat. (Also remember that all kids will go through a picky eating phase.)

The rule we have at mealtime is that Mac is served what we are eating. She is given a bowl of chili or a plate of pasta or a piece of pizza just like we are eating. Now, most parents would require their child to try it. As in “If you don’t take three bites, you can’t have anything else” kind of required. But we don’t.

We don’t put any pressure on Mac to eat it, but we do suggest she take some bites. I will spear a piece of food onto her fork so that all she has to do is put it in her mouth. And because of the lack of pressure, she feels comfortable to try the dinner almost every time.

But that doesn’t mean she always likes it. In fact, lately it seems like she doesn’t like hardly anything. I once read that as people age, they lose taste buds. That is why as an adult, you may like foods that you couldn’t stand as a child.

If she decides she doesn’t like dinner, her only option is a peanut butter sandwich and some fruit. She is still getting her fruits, protein and healthy fat, and some carbs. Mac is happy. Mom and Dad are happy. Life is peaceful.

Sometimes it takes up to 10 exposures to a food to have a child try it and like it. Keep serving them the dinners and vegetables because some day, they will probably try them and like them, or at the very least, they won’t hate them.

(Also, make sure you check out our podcast on surviving family dinner. Learn about how we actually have fun during dinner time!)

How do you keep your cool when it comes to toddlers and food? Any other tricks up your sleeve?