Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try, you are never good enough as a mom? I have been feeling that way for a while. I feel bad because Mac isn’t taking music lessons, dance lessons, and gymnastics. (Reminder, she is a 1-year-old.) I feel guilty that some days I let her watch more than enough TV. I feel like a failure because even when I am on my A-game, all of those perfect moms  smile up at me from Instagram to remind me that I haven’t color-coordinated Mac’s socks to her outfit or even remembered to put a pigtail in her hair so she could see. I realized I needed to be a happier mom.

Let me just say that I was never an unhappy mom, but I certainly wasn’t as happy as I could be. I tried to google and Pinterest ways to become happier, but it seemed like nothing really worked. So I tried my hardest to just keep on keepin on. Then, in the process of reaching other goals in my life, I found three things that made me a happier mom.

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Get Rid of the Junk

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you will know I have been on a decluttering and organizing streak for months now. As in, I spend my weekends cleaning my pantry or reorganizing my walk-in closet. We have taken about 3 carloads of stuff to the thrift shop. And I can’t think of a single thing I regret getting rid of. Honestly, it is quite refreshing to have less things to put away or find space for. (P.S. that picture is not of my house but looks eerily similar to my gigantic, under the stairs closet before we went through and got rid of most of the stuff.)

Who knew that my overzealous decluttering obsession would also cause my happiness to go up? I am a happier mom because I don’t have to spend as much time cleaning and picking things up. I am also less worried about affording a bigger house.

If you need a kick in the pants, the books I recommend are Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and Joshua Becker’s The More of Less. Read about my decluttering process in any of the following posts: Tidying Up: Simplify to Keep the House in Order, Decluttering with KonMari, Slow Progress, Spring Cleaning, The More of Less: Review of a Minimalist Book, and Paring Down the Pantry.

Take a Personality Test

When I think of personality tests, my mind immediately jumps to “Find out what new trend you should try this summer!” or “Which spice girl are you?” The kinds of personality tests I am talking about here are much more serious.

The first one I recommend is quite in-depth. When I took it, you had to buy the book and then take the test online. But I felt it was worth it. Every staff member at my school one year took this test so we could learn about each other. It is called Strengths Finder 2.0. One of the things I love about it is that it focuses on the positives. You find the top 5 strengths of your personality. I was quite surprised (in a good way) at some of the strengths of my personality. Who knew my ability to fall down the rabbit hole while searching things on Wikipedia or Google could be considered a strength? But once I heard that, I realize I am quite good at researching things.

The second one I took as another staff development workshop is called the Enneagram. You can take a simple version of it at the site I linked. This test is especially eye-opening to me. I test as Type 9: The Peacemaker which means I will do anything to stop or prevent conflict, including molding myself to be like whoever is closest to me. This explains my long history of changing the way I dress and the music I listen to. It also talks about how 9s have problems with inertia and stubbornness. (And I keep going back to read more. Every time I re-read the description, I learn something else about myself.)

I feel like taking tests like these help me to see the good things about myself and what things I need to learn to live with. My stubbornness and inability to finish a project aren’t things likely to change anytime soon. I have been able to accept them and move on.

A Happier Mom Takes Care of Herself

I love the idea of putting on your own oxygen mask before someone else’s. If you don’t take care of yourself and your oxygen mask first, you may be unavailable to help anyone else with their oxygen mask. This extends to so many areas of life. As a mom, we take care of so many things every day. Usually ourselves is not one of those things. Here are some ways we should take care of ourselves.

Exercise

I have recently started doing the Blogilates workout calendar everyday. Some days I only finish 3 videos on the playlist before Mac wakes up, but I feel good no matter how many I finish. You don’t need to do a hard-core cardio routine. You don’t need to run a marathon. But a brisk walk in the morning can do wonders. Pick a form of exercise that you enjoy and do it.

Healthy Eating

I’m not saying to become a fruititarian or cut out carbs all together. But it goes without saying that most people feel better when they are eating in a generally healthy way. Now I am all for moderation, so some dessert or a glass of wine here or there (or even every night in small bits) won’t hurt.

The best way I have found to focus on healthy eating is to eat what your child eats. Most of us strive to give our children healthy, well-rounded meals. When Mac was old enough to eat identical meals to us, I decided to make sure all three of use were eating right. (That doesn’t mean I’m not guilty of sneaking a snack while hiding from Mac, but it does mean I try to severely limit those times.)

Make sure you read about making dinnertime less stressful. We try hard not to make food a fight. Right now, Mac is a picky eater, but you can read about how we are dealing with it. Also listen to our podcast about surviving dinner time and even having fun with it.

Primping

I worked for four years in the toddler room. I dealt with bodily functions on a daily basis while also crawling around on the floor. Needless to say, I did not dress my best. I fell into a routine of jeans and a v-neck, solid color t-shirt with a cardigan.

This year, I have moved to working in a primary room. So I have taken advantage of that fact and I have worn dresses, skirts, dangly earrings, and fancier shirts. And without even trying, my self-confidence and productivity have gone through the roof. (I should’ve figured seeing as that is one of my secrets to stay at home mom productivity.)

So how have you become a happier mom? How can you tell when you are happier? I can tell because an incredibly happy moment in time was caught in that picture up there. Let me know of any other ideas you have to become a happier mom.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. That means if you sign up through my link, I may receive compensation at no extra cost to you. For more information, see my disclosure page here.