The entire time I was pregnant, I low-key worried about labor and delivery. How much would it hurt? How long would it take? Would I know when it started? My worry was understandable, but a little ridiculous. Now that I have experienced it once, here are the non-medical things I wish I had known. (Make sure you also check out my pregnancy advice and the ways to make postpartum recovery better.)

I talk a little bit more about these and other tips in an episode of my Quirky Parenting podcast with my husband. You can listen online or you can download it from the iTunes store.

When Will It Start?

I continually asked other moms about how I would know I was in labor. I mean, everyone gets the Braxton Hicks contractions, so what if I thought my real contractions were just fake contractions? It was a legitimate worry on my part. (Probably fueled in part by my reality television watching, but whatever.)

Well, I kept getting the same advice and the advice I was given rang true. All the moms said:

When it is time, you will just know.

What annoying advice. But guess what? I did! For like two weeks I wondered if every spasm and ache meant labor. But when I woke up at 3 am with a different sort of ache, I instinctively knew that labor was starting. (Of course, this isn’t true for every single woman out there. But most will just know.)

Birth Plans

I delivered with a certified nurse midwife. A few weeks before I was due, they had me fill out a birth plan. I had to decide on pain medication, alternative pain treatment, water birth, and what tests or vaccines we wanted the baby to be given after birth. It was a lot to think and research about.

Some people feel a bit skeptical about birth plans, but here are my thoughts:

Make a birth plan so you know your options.

but

Know that it won’t get followed to a T.

The best part of the birth plan was that Andrew and I got to discuss some of the options and make some decisions ahead of time. Then he and I were on the same page once labor started. We didn’t have to try to think on the fly and make decisions that could have big ramifications.

But babies come when they want and how they want. No one’s birth plan will be totally followed. Everyone will have to make sacrifices. I was determined to have a medication free birth, but after a day and a half in labor (and after having had the flu when I was 8 months pregnant) I was so exhausted that I couldn’t even stand without someone else holding me up. At that point, I threw in the towel and decided I needed to get an epidural.

I know that some people may need time to come to terms with the difference between what they thought labor would be like and what it ended up being like. But with some time, most will see that the most important outcome is:

Healthy baby, Healthy mama.

Keep in mind that if everyone comes out the other side healthy, it doesn’t matter how closely the birth plan was followed.

Every Woman is Different

When I had Mac, I was in labor for 40 hours. It was long, hard, and so tiring. On the other hand, my sister was in labor for less than 24 hours. She was told she was made to give birth. So how come two sisters have such different births? Every woman is different!

Don’t compare your labor and delivery to anyone else’s labor and delivery.

I’ve heard you can’t even know what your next labor and delivery will be like because it could be completely different from the first one. Every woman will labor differently, so remember

Do what makes you comfortable while you labor.

For some women, that might be walking. Others might prefer to sit on a ball. Some might want to eat while others couldn’t possibly have any food. Do what makes you comfortable.

Make sure to also check out my pregnancy advice and the ways to make postpartum recovery better.

What other tips would you give about labor and delivery? Make sure you listen to the labor and delivery and other parenting tips podcast.