Every once in a while, I am faced with a toddler who is struggling with something like putting their pants on. They sit on the bathroom floor crying and getting mad. And sometimes, I don’t do anything to help them. Okay, I do something to help them, but it isn’t putting their pants on for them. That is because for some toddlers, their own worst enemy is themselves. They are perfectly capable of putting their pants on. I have in fact seen them do it before. But at this point in time they are in a mood and when faced with a small speed bump, fall to pieces instead of putting on their own pants.

But as they sit on the floor and yell for help, I tell them that by encouraging them, I am helping them. Because in the long run, self-help skills are a lot more important than me putting their pants on them this one time. In fact, Montessori is all about independence from an early age. But how do you encourage a toddler? Here are four ways I encourage a toddler without just doing everything for them.