One of the things I love about the Montessori philosophy is the idea of self directed learning. Children follow their interests with some guidance from the teacher (who is literally called a guide in Montessori.) The idea of children learning things they want to learn and when they are interested in them just makes my heart soar.

When children are forced to learn things when they are “supposed to” instead of when they are ready and interested, they are not going to enjoy it and they might not even remember it. Self directed learning is a way to make sure children will (mostly) enjoy what they are learning and remember it as they grow older.

But here’s the thing: self directed learning with younger children might not really look like learning to us. But sit tight, I have an example of that after I tell you some of the traps we fall into with children’s activities. (If you’d like some good ideas for activities to do with your children or other ways to bring Montessori into your life, check out my ebook 30 Ways to Make Your Home More Montessori. You can buy it as an ebook on Amazon or a pdf file on Gumroad.)

The Two Ways We Spoil Self Directed Learning

When children are younger, it can be kind of tempting to do a couple of things: 1) turn EVERYTHING into a “learning activity” or 2) push the academic. Well, I’m tell you that you don’t have to do that. I’m giving you permission to just let them play and the self directed learning will flow out of it.

So what do I mean? Well sure, go ahead and count things with your child or talk about colors. But you don’t have to force it. I’ve seen way too many scenarios where parents are forcing these “learning activities” and because it is so forced, I have a hard time believing the child is getting much out of them.

The other thing parents will do is really push the academic. Instead of seeing what their child is interested in, they will just try to push anything academic. What if your kid really like numbers, but could care less about letters? Or maybe they love colors, but don’t really care about shapes. You don’t have to force them to like the other things. Wait until they show an interest.

Younger children will naturally show interests in things without having to be pushed into it, but the thing is not everything that interests them will be academic. It won’t all be counting and reading. But don’t fear, they will still learn from it.

And I’m not saying that you shouldn’t ever set up an activity for them. Just make sure you are paying attention to what they are actually interested in or something that would be a natural fit. The other day I set up a quick handwashing activity for my daughter after she did some art. It was then I realized that I had been guilty of overthinking Montessori in my home.

When Play Becomes Learning

The other day, I was home with my kids and I was feeling so internally pressured like I should be engaging my 3 year old in some sort of activity. She was playing with some corn cob holders and I was wondering if I should be setting up something for her to do.

But then I noticed something. She wasn’t just mindlessly playing around with these dumb little corn cob holders. She was using the colors to make a sort of pattern.

Now, there was a time or two before when I thought I should be working on academics with her and tried to see if she could understand patterns. It just backfired. She was not interested at all and thought what I was asking her to do was boring. But here she was working on patterns by herself. If I had stopped her from playing with those poky little things, she wouldn’t have gotten that valuable, self directed learning experience that she got.

P.S. Make sure you check out my 30 Ways to Make Your Home More Montessori ebook if you are interested in Montessori. I have some great things to do with your children that will help prompt self directed learning. You can find the ebook on Amazon or a pdf book on Gumroad.

Tell me about a time when you realized your children were actually learning during play. I love personal stories!

Montessori seems like such a foreign, weird concept to some. Even parents who send their kid to a Montessori school may only have a vague notion about the Montessori philosophy. But if you are wanting to support your child’s Montessori education or if you are just interested in being more child-led in your home, Montessori at home doesn’t have to be hard.

Look, I’ve worked in a Montessori school for 5 years now. It took a while, but I have a good grasp on the philosophy and part of the reason I write this blog is to help others understand too. (In fact, if you want to learn a little more, make sure you read What the Heck is Montessori?) But even I have been guilty of making bringing Montessori into my home too hard. (If you are looking for more ways to be more Montessori at home, check out my e-book 30 Ways to Make Your Home More Montessori. It is full of easy ways to incorporate more Montessori ideals in your home. You can find it as an ebook on Amazon or as a pdf file on Gumroad.)

Sure, it is one thing to follow Montessori ideals: child-led learning and freedom of movement among other things are easy once you are committed to them. But what kinds of activities can you do with your children that are Montessori based?

Well I’m here to tell you that when you try to come up with these activities, you are probably overthinking it. You don’t need it to be perfect and you don’t need it to match exactly what they do at school. Here is how that looked for me the other day.

The other day, my daughter had been doing some art and got marker all over her hands. She asked to wash her hands and, instead of sending her upstairs to where her bathroom stool is, I figured I could set up a quick hand washing activity for her.

I gathered a towel for the floor, a tub of warm water, a washcloth, some soap, and a hand towel for when she was done. I set it up on the kitchen floor and she went to town. She already had the hand washing presentation at school, so she knew what she was supposed to do.

Was it strictly Montessori to a tee? No. She didn’t get the water herself, we used a plastic tub, and I didn’t have a nail brush or bar soap. But it didn’t matter. At the end of the day, it was good all around. I allowed her the freedom to do the job herself and she enjoyed exploring with the soap.

So the next time you are thinking of doing an activity and you are worried about it because it isn’t “Montessori enough,” just relax. You are overthinking it. Things don’t always have to be perfect to work.

(And if you are interested in some easy ways to be more Montessori in your home, check out my e-book 30 Ways to Make Your Home More Montessori. It is full of all sorts of ways to follow Montessori at home. You can find it as an ebook on Amazon or a pdf file on Gumroad.)

Obviously I’m a huge advocate of raising and educating children in a Montessori way. That’s why I work at a Montessori school and that is why I write this blog. But let me tell you, it isn’t always easy and it isn’t always fun. So here are the reasons why it is hard to be a Montessori parent. If you’d like to learn more about Montessori, make sure you read my post What the Heck is Montessori? and listen to the podcast at the end.

We also recorded a podcast about the downside to independence. Listen to it in the post or find it in the iTunes store by searching Quirky Parenting.